why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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