Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
