Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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