I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
