I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
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Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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