And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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