My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize