He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
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The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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