He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
