There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize