I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
