he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
