Someone shit on the floor
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
