I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize