am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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