Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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