nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
