i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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