took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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