we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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