She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You pole danced in your parka.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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