Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
