mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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