yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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