i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize