Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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