woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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