me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Randomize
