Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
