i don't like sucking hair
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You are the jesus of drinking
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
