Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
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I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I sprained my soul last night
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I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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