Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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