This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
