At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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