Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
