She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
