I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
