oh god the rape fog is back!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
