nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
His hands were made for my vagina.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
