I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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