DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize