just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I forget how to act sober
Randomize