Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she told me i tasted like america
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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