dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
