sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
