i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
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we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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