I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize