Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
