There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize