I'm lost and stupid without you.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
