i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
