batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
