Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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