i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
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I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
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Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
His nipple licking is glorious
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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