tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
