She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
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After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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