Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
