It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
