I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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