if you like me you must not know who I am
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
