just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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