yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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