I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
